Howard and Nester, those two crazy cartoon characters from the early issues of Nintendo Power, where are they now?

For years Howard and Nester shared many moments of laughter and crazy hijinks. They would enter the games of Nintendo and embark on many adventures.

Who could forget Nester on the set of the Ninja Gaiden Movie? We all laughed when they entered the Mario Brothers 3 world. Who could forget the hilarity of when they turned into Tetris blocks?

It all started with an escape into fantasyland.

Nester had suffered from insomnia for months. He had nowhere to turn, doctors rejected him. He was only a twelve year old boy, but he could never sleep, and had episodes of blanking out and waking up in strange places. He was miserable.

On a city bus he met Howard, a charming and handsome teenager who quickly befriended Nester. Together they entered the world of Nintendo, world of mind and soul. They had discovered a paradise. They shared it with all who would come. It was a world not driven by possesions and social status, but by the burning primitive desire of man: to compete.

The insomnia ended. He was happy. He frolicked in the Nintendo paradise with his new sidekick. The two were inseperable. Nester did harbor some resentment to his seemingly perfect partner, who always bailed him out of trouble, but they never left each other's sides.

We are unsure of where he went, but shortly after doing a little deputy work in the game Gunsmoke, Howard rode off alone into the sunset, leaving his best friend Nester nothing more than a clip on bow tie. Nester continued the adventure alone, without the guidance of his mentor Howard.

After venturing into strange new Super Nintendo worlds for several years, Nester simply vanished. The dream of wasting away the years in a Nintendo paradise faded when the call of college and the call of ending childhood tore him from the fantasyland.

The pain of never being able to return to Neverland faded away as he saw the video game world grow into new heights and dimensions. He had lost touch. The door to entering Nintendo had closed. He blocked the memories from his mind, and continued as the average Joe.

Many years later, the insomnia returned. The blackouts came back to haunt him.

One day, from nowhere, a question stabbed into his mind.

"Where is Howard?"

Then, abandoning all family, friends, occupational obligations, he embarked on a journey, not knowing specifically where he was going, just trying every city bar he came across asking "Where is Howard?"

They gave him unusual answers and acted as if he was crazy. He still sought his goal.

Then, he experienced something unusual.

"Good morning, Mr. Howard," the man behind the desk at the motel.

"What?" Nester asked, shocked.

Suddenly, everyone around him was adressing him as his childhood friend. He sought sanctuary in his motel room.

Then, appearing in Nester's motel room, was Howard himself.

"Howard!? Why does everybody think I'm you?"

"You know the answer,"

Nester sat, his tired head down, thinking.

"I don't know!"

"Why would you think people would call you by my name?"

"Mabye I remind... or I...uh..."

"You know the answer, just say it!"

"uhh..." the insomnia and the search for Howard had left him tired and fatigued.

"Nobody would call us by the same name..."

It dawned on Nester, "Unless we were the same person,"

"That's right. I'm the non-existant guy your poor little rejected ten year old self wanted to act like, always wanted to look like, always wanted to be,"

"No..."

Suddenly flashbacks of things Howard had said were suddenly replaced with images of him talking in Howard's place.

"You were unsatisfied with your life, so you created me, and we created Nintendo Club together,"

"Why did you leave me?"

"You didn't need me anymore, you had found hapiness in Nintendo Club. But you left after that! The unhapiness returned, so naturally you came looking for me. So here I am."

"I don't believe this,"

"Believe it, because you and I are going to take Nintendo Club up a notch,"

"What..?"

"Instead of a few troubled souls seeking comfort within Nintendo land, we're going to go global, all shall enter, or die."

Nester saw the people he had been talking to in the lobby were killing people in the streets. A gun on the table caught his eye. He picked up the gun and began firing rapidly at Howard.

His body stood there without a single wound. He pulled his hand out of his pocket to reveal a blue megaman blaster had replaced his hand. He fired three devastating blasts at Nester, knocking him to the floor. The flesh on his chest sizzled from the plasma heat. Howard then dragged him out of the room.

When Nester came to, he was in a darkly lit room at the top of a tall building. In the room was a large window that gave a view of the whole city. He was duct taped to a chair.

"Just think of what we've accomplished." Howard said as he held a Nintendo Zapper Light Gun in his hand, examining it, "In my world, you'll see Gr Imps and Tetris blocks prancing around the ruins of Rockafeller Center. You'll look down seeing tiny figures stamping out fire flowers and magic mushrooms. You'll climb the magic vines that wrap the Sears Tower,"

"You can't do this! You're killing people!"

"Listen, I'm going to drag you all the way through this,. kicking and screaming and in the end you'll thank me. In 60 seconds, this world will be merged with that of Nintendo. Those who refuse to accept it will be vaporized."

Suddenly, a block with a ? mark on it appeared above their heads.

"It's already begun, I shall be the high ruler of Nintendo land," Howard said.

Koopas, goombas, and other Mario things began popping up around them.

Howard shot a nearby Koopa with the Zapper. It exploded in a bloody mess. He pointed the gun at Nester and pulled the trigger. A click followed. Nothing came out of the barrel. Nester flinched.

"What, do you think you're a character on a screen or something?"

A goomba walked over next to the chair.

Remembering his childhood, he hopped with the chair and landed on the goombas head. He flew straight up into the air, hitting his head on the bottom of the block. The chair fell on its side, with him in it. A magic mushroom fell from the block and landed on Nester.

He suddenly grew twice as large, breaking the duct tape. Howard grew at the same time. He kicked the bloody koopa shell at Howard, knocking the Zapper from his hand. He hurled all he could muster at him, fireballs, LIT3, Dr. Mario pills, Chaff Grenades, but nothing worked.

He grabbed the Zapper from the ground and began firing. It didn't work. He wasn't a Nintendo character, he's just a fantasy. Then how was he able to grow from the mushroom? He suddenly had an epiphony.

Nester put the Zapper trigger into his mouth and fired. He felt the heat from the energy blast go straight through his head. Howard crumpled to the floor and vanished. He fell to the ground and died.

He suddenly felt a rebirth, and he experienced the beginning of a new life. He checked the top of the screen to see that he had 4up left. Howard lay on the ground with a sizzling crater in his face. The cleansing of a new life had severed his connection with Howard, and he was free from him. Howard became simply a personality without a person and ceased to exist. There was no stopping the merging of the worlds, but he stood there triumphantly as the new high ruler of Nintendo land.

Wasn't that fun boys and girls? Didn't it make you want to slam your head on the desk until you forgot it then you read it again and slammed your head and lost consciousness?